The Meaning of Matthew by Judy Shepard

I've read a fair share of books this year that made me cry, or left me feeling raw after finishing them. No book has ever devastated me the way this one did. It was hard for me to finish, and I read most of it through tears. I've avoided all of the plays, movies and books that told Matthew Shepard's story. My reaction to this book is exactly why I've avoided them.

Matthew Shepard was only 2 years older than me. When he died I had been out of high school for two years. My senior year, I came out of the closet and spent most of the year dealing with altercations from classmates. When I heard that Matthew had been attacked, I couldn't help but think that his story could have been mine. The day that he died, I had a creative writing class. That night I took a story I had written about my experiences in high school to read to the class. I wanted them to know that things like what happened to Matthew had the potential to happen anywhere.

I think Judy Shepard's main purpose for her book was to paint an accurate picture of her son. She said she wanted the world to know not just the Matthew we saw portrayed in the media, but her son Matt. She does a good job of painting the picture of an average boy. He wasn't an angel. He had a lot of demons that he had to contend with. She doesn't sugar coat his problems. She also doesn't sugar coat her mistakes as a parent, or her perceptions of the media and the world's reactions to Matthew's death.

I found it really interesting how she was so shielded from all the media attention surrounding Matthew's attack. One thing I would have liked to seen explored more was the process of being able to not feel angry at the media attention surrounding Matthew, to embracing it for the greater good. She touches on the subject, but I was hoping for more about that transition.

She doesn't shrink away from communicating how brutal the attack on Matthew was. Many times she mentions that she has never tried to imagine what it was like for Matthew the night of the attack. That's true in the book as well. As she recounts the attack it's from a very straight forward, almost technical perspective. It definitely helps, because so much of the book is gut wrenching.

Shepard tries to end the book on a hopeful note. She talks about Matthew Shepard Foundation, as well as the speaking engagements that she has done all across the country. While so much of the book is dealing with a horrible crime, there are little moments of hope hidden inside. Moments like $90,000 in donations that people sent in to pay for Matthew's medical bills, to people singing Amazing Grace outside of his memorial service to drown out protesters.

I'm glad I read this book. It's something I'll never be able to bring myself to read again. I'll probably never see The Laramie Project or any of the other projects telling Matthew's story. I picked up this one because it was written by Matthew's mother. To say that it was moving wouldn't even begin to describe it. It's hard to review a book like this because it's so hard for me to remove myself from all the emotions surrounding it. The book reads like a conversation. I think she does a good job of trying to be objective about her son as objective as a mother can be).

If you visit the Matthew Shepard Foundation page you can order signed copies of the book, and the proceeds help the foundation. You can even make donations.

Tears of Pearl by Tasha Alexander

I always look forward to a new Lady Emily book from Tasha Alexander. I picked up her first book And Only to Deceive on a whim, and totally feel in love with the characters.

In her newest adventure, Lady Emily is off to Constantinople for her honeymoon. She's not there long before theft and murder are all around her. Naturally, Emily decides to throw herself into the middle of it.

With Tears of Pearl, Alexander has written another smart, and funny mystery. When reading her books, you can tell that a lot of thought and care goes into the setting. Constantinople comes to life before the reader's eyes with vivd descriptions and attention to detail. It's obvious that Alexander spends a lot of time researching, but it never comes across as forced. You really get a sense of the city and the culture.

As I mentioned, I love these characters. I think it's a testament to her writing that Ivy is only featured in the book in a couple of letters to Emily, but I was still waiting in suspense to see how things would turn out for her. Before the revealing of the outcome I was afraid to keep reading. That's how much I love them. Emily reminds me (and I mean this as a huge compliment) of Amelia Peabody from the Elizabeth Peters books. The ladies have a lot in common. The biggest difference though, is that Emily is more of a free spirit. She's not as high strung as Amelia. While Emily is still totally devoted to the tasks at hand, you sense that she really enjoys what she's doing.

It's not just the returning characters that are great. In Bezime and Perestu, she has created to strong women that balance each other out. One is the most powerful woman in the empire, the other has fallen from grace and is exiled. Both are unforgettable.

Finally, another thing that I love about the book, and the whole series, is that they read like old sensationalist fiction. Alexander definitely knows her way around the works of Wilkie Collins and Mary Elizabeth Braddon. All the classic plot devices are there; possible incest, hidden identities, and palace intrigues are just a few.

If you're new to her books, you can start with Tears of Pearl. It's written so that it can stand alone, but I recommend starting with And Only to Deceive and working your way through all four. If you like well thought out, well written historical mysteries you need to pick this one up.

The Child Thief by Brom

I picked up The Child Thief by Brom after seeing EOS Books and a few others talk about in on Twitter. Brom calls The Child Thief a "nightmarish retelling of the Peter Pan legend." It definitely peaked my interest.

There are books that you love, books you just like, books you hate, and books like this one. I finished it a week ago, and haven't been able to write a review because I don't know how I felt about the book. It's not as simple as being able to say I loved or hated it.

In this version of Peter Pan, everything is more savage. Peter steals children to bring them back to his world to fight in a war. You won't find Tinkerbell or Captain Hook in this one. Peter goes after damaged kids, the abused, and the runaways.

I appreciated it. From the very beginning I was hooked. I admit that most of my investment in the story was because of Nick. Nick's character is one of the latest boys to follow Peter to his strange world, and quickly finds himself in over his head. To me, the book was more about Nick's story than it was about Peter Pan.

Brom does a wonderful job creating his twisted, savage world. In fact, sometimes I think that there was more emphasis put on creating the world than there was on the story. Some of the mythology of Avallon lost me. I got a little confusing and muddled.

While I can't say I love the book, I really admire what Brom tried to do. I think he had his vision clearly mapped out in his mind, and did a great job of executing it. The Child Thief is definitely worth a read if you're looking for something different.

Marked by PC & Kristin Cast

Marked by PC & Kristin Cast

Anyone who knows me also knows that I thought the Twilight books were awful. Yes, I read all four of them, and thought they were pretty terrible. I'm also sure everyone is tired of all vampire books being compared to Twilight, but I've got a reason for it in this review.

I thought Marked was pretty bad. The writing is simplistic at best. When I'm reading a young adult book, I don't want to feel like I'm reading one. I think the author should be able to tell their story so that it transcends the audience it's being written for. That's not the case with Marked. It felt like the Casts made a conscious effort to write for teens. There was also a disconnect with the language the teen characters used. Most of them were pretty foul mouthed. Not a big deal, it's teen lit and we all know how teens talk. However, the main character would then say things like "poopie" and go back to talking about blowjobs. It seemed way out of place to me.

The only interesting thing about the book was the inclusion of a gay vampire character. Unfortunately, the character himself wasn't that interesting. He didn't like any of the other gay vampires in the school because they were "too girly," yet he spent time sitting in his room working on cross-stitch. I think it's crap to throw in that the other gay vamps are too girly. There aren't very many gay characters in teen novels as it is, let alone in the vampire genre. Now they add in the stigma that being too girly makes you a bad gay that no one wants. I freely admit that some of that is my own personal issue, but it really ticked me off.

When I read the Twilight books, I kept reading because even though the writing was awful, and the story wasn't that great the books were entertaining. They had that whole, "so awful, it's almost good" thing going on. Marked didn't even that going for it. In the end, book was just bland, and didn't leave me with any desire to pick up anything else in the series.